Wow! Thank you for your amazing and open article, you clearly are an amazing person with a very strong moral compass. What is most conscietious about your behavior to me is that you stayed with her when you were both drunk and did not leave her alone so she could maybe not feel shamed or even maybe feel safe.

"I tried kissing her and there was no reaction. I tried touching her breasts through her top, no reaction."

There seems to be a very thin gray line here that can become even more obscured by context and situation. You honestly describe a time where you may have inadvertently crossed the line but realized it very quickly and tried to gauge the situation honestly and change the context.

What if we had an environment where more men communicated more honestly about their actions--good and bad? What if they worked to communicate their triumphs as well as failures, thus changing the social norms and mores?

Would this discussion include men who had maybe even committed many offenses, not to lessen the severity of the transgressions or undermine the severely devastatign impact they can have but to actually admit to the wrongdoings and show an attitude of contrition and strife to make recompense and improve themselves? If a large percentage of men (some 25% by some surveys like this one https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017/12/28/upshot/sexual-harassment-survey-600-men.html) say they engage in behavior that can be considered harassing (including unwanted gestures, remarks, indirect actions like staring) might many of these men bringing their perceptions, experiences, contrition, and intentions to change to the table help to lessen this profoundly high number?

I know this is controversial and no offense intended. Thank you for adding your voice to the discussion, StartledEgg!