Some Things You Can Do To Be A Better Person
Alberto Garcia has written another profoundly invigorating and insightful piece. This piece explores a few signs of a good-natured person. After reading Garcia’s piece, I am tempted to list some more items. However, I am going to change up the format a little. Instead of exploring what some signs of a good person are, I’m going to list some things each of us can do to become a better person. Garcia mentions that “no one is 100% good.” I wholeheartedly concur. Expounding on this point, I will remonstrate there is goodness and love in each of us that we can always tap into to make ourselves better people(and also make the world a better place).
At the same time, we each certainly have our worst deeds that keep us awake at night. As the wonderful quote from James Truslow Adams goes: “There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it ill behooves any of us to find fault with the rest of us.” How do we recompense for many of our worst transgressions or misdeeds? By doing good. So here are a few things each of us can do to help others and also better ourselves.
We Can Spare a Moment to Help or Listen
Many of us have experienced a moment of peril where no one seemed capable of stopping to offer a hand. I had such an experience a few years back when my tire went flat on the highway. It felt like cars were just zooming past like I was just a scarecrow standing in some field with birds to fly away from me. Of course, the highway was busy and someone stopping might be dangerous.
So take advantage of those moments when you can actually help. We all have those opportunities where it would be kind, reasonable, and even noble to help, and the results are touching on things immeasurable. Maybe you won’t feel comfortable stopping to help someone on the side of the road(and that’s okay), but perhaps take the time to pull over as soon as you can and call local agencies to report the other person’s trouble. Sure, people often remember the most negative and horrific of incidents more than the positive. But if you are the shining light in a time of unthinkable darkness, won’t that also be an enduring memory?
Often, the smallest of gestures, actions, and kindnesses make the greatest difference. Just smiling and nodding at a stranger sitting alone on the street corner or offering a kind “thank you” and small praise to a customer service employee can brighten someone else’s whole day. Offering to help someone in the middle of a difficult task(like the lone stranger in the parking lot struggling to load groceries in their car) can mean the whole world to someone. Even giving a few coins or bills to someone in need can be an unmatched kindness. How many times have we each been the person in the grocery store checkout lane with not enough change, and the person behind us offers their spare coins?
Another noble gift we can offer is our attention and listening ear. We all carry around burdens that become too heavy. Sometimes all we need is just to have someone to share our troubles and get just a little of where we are coming from. So, especially in our closest relationships with family, friends, coworkers, or even indirect acquaintances, we can all strive to be that sounding board and anchor. Practicing extra care and empathy should be done carefully as we may not be able to understand many things from our point of view and could easily get in over our heads if not careful. But in more fragile instances, we can still be a point of first contact before connecting someone to other people or groups who can help them further.
Offer Good Thoughts, Prayers, and Love
“I hope someday you will all realize the true power of prayer.”
These were the sagacious words of one of my Catholic elementary school teachers. Of course, in our futuristic age of uncertainty it is so easy to scoff at such adages. You often hear skeptics saying “pray for me” to someone they know has a strong traditional spiritual or religious viewpoint with a sarcastic “wink, wink” to follow. I always remember the scene from the John Wayne movie The Cowboys where Wayne’s rancher character tells one of his teenage boy cattle-herders “praying doesn’t get the job done.” (Of course, one can offer the viewpoint that any job or action is a form of prayer).
But seriously, we cannot take lightly the power of positive and good thoughts and prayers. If you do not buy into the traditional religious practice of praying, that’s perfectly fine. Practicing positive thinking and speech are also some of the greatest spiritual exercises. Self-betterment starts with the most simple of thoughts and prayers rising in one’s own mind and heart, striving to hold only positive and healthy thoughts and regards for those we know, then stretching out to those we don’t know. We do not need to have every disagreement and profound conflict resolved, nor should we agree with many things we hear or see. But if we can at least offer thoughts and prayers for the best of health, well-being, and peace to everyone, think of how much peace and health we will feel. Also, what if countless more people in the world practiced this type of positive prayer and thinking? Wouldn’t the world become a whole lot better of a place?
Take Care of Yourself
One of the most wonderful things you can do to help others and the world is to take care of yourself. “Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend,” is the common saying.
But this is easier said than done. We spend so much of our days trying to fulfill our various social roles — put in our hours at work,pay the bills, complete all of the household chores, run all of those necessary errands — that we lose focus on self-care. Thus we are thrown into imbalance.
When we make time for self-care and self-love, it allows us to be healthier and happier. This is far from selfish. Just as the heart collects oxygenated blood for itself first so it can always be ready to pump blood to other body organs and regions, when we have given ourselves ample love and care, we are then more balanced and capable to give full attention, care, and love to others in our relationships and various roles. We even find these different roles and relationships more intricately bound back to our deeper selves so that they are parts of our very being.
If we take time to tend to ourselves, we can also be in a better place to heal from past pains, tragedy, or trauma. If we give ourselves the extra helping hand, we can learn what the effects of past negative events have truly had on us, and we come to find what situations or experiences might trigger additional pain. And since it is true that “hurt people hurt people,” might the opposite also be true that “healed people can help heal other people?” What doors might we open to new opportunities allowing us to better help others once we have helped ourselves?
Tend to the “More” In Life, Rather Than Digging Holes
“There’s more to life than a little money, you know,” is a famous line from the 1996 movie Fargo that alone could have won Frances McDormand the Academy Award.
But this deeper truth spreads well beyond money also. There is more to life than so many “small things”(and perhaps some “bigger things”) we sweat. There is more to life than bitter disputes, toxic environments and relationships, despair, self-angst, and bitterness. There is much more to life than these dramas and the dangerous cycles we so easily get caught up in. There are infinite reaches unfolding each second of life.
So the challenge is to stop and take time to remember these infinite riches unfolding all around. We can stop our fits of worry, sadness, or anger by savoring the beauty in a sunny day or taking time to consider the infinitely wondrous life of another. We can tend to small tasks like washing the dishes or immersing ourselves in a book, fitness activity, or hobby. Countless things can open us to the world of worlds beyond our present strife or turmoil.
This brings to mind another common maxim “If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.” If we take time to tap into the infinite riches and unlimited beauty all around us, are we not making the most of each moment granted us and moving past those dark clouds? What worlds of beauty might we easily uncover if we just tune in? These worlds help us to find lasting fulfillment and satisfaction. They also beckon us to improve ourselves, help others, and help make the world a better place.
We Can Be Better People
Garcia’s article hit the nail on its head. People can be stinky and downright cruel. And to further pull the feathers off of the rooster, we all have those worst versions of ourselves that can be among the stinkiest and cruelest. Many of us might actually be tempted to pull out hairs when we consider some of Garcia’s points(among numerous other examples we could find) and realize how we have sometimes been those people who display those horrible behaviors. For the item exploring how kind people don’t get mad in long lines, I know I have been one of those people to stew in long lines. Perhaps this is because I have so often been the employee tending to customers in long lines, constantly being drilled by customers(or managers) to speed along as best I could and hold my breath for a break.
But let’s not lose hair just yet. Each of us also has unlimited beauty and goodness within, though sometimes this is definitely difficult to see. We all have moments where we tapped into this goodness to calm ourselves, make a difference for others, and send a little ripple of goodness into the larger sea. One key part of absolving any of our ugliest and meanest moments is to strive to create as many good moments as we can. “Do a good turn daily” has been the slogan of scouting organizations for eons. We should strive to do as much good as we can. For goodness, kindness, charity, and countless other positive, beautiful, Divine forces are stronger than any negative or bad. And those do make the world go round.
