Sedona Method?? Really? Wow!
Thanks, Alberto Garcia, for describing the Sedona Method for emotions in your article here:
Here are the four steps of the method: 1) choose an issue that is bothering you and ask yourself Can I allow myself to feel this? 2) Then ask yourself the second question: Could I let go of what I am feeling? 3) ask yourself the third question: Do I prefer to remain controlled by this feeling forever, or do I choose to be free? 4) last question: When is the best time? Answer now! And let it go.
What an amazing and profoundly effective method to help with so many emotions! Another article explores the method a little more in depth. The first thing laid out by this second article is to properly identify what one is feeling and then go through the next few questions. I will definitely work to employ this method as much as I can when feeling new emotions. To sum up, here are the steps in my own words.
1.) Identify what is this particular issue, problem, or feeling. 2.) Ok to experience?
3.) Able to free self from?
4.) Willing to do so?
5.) When will you do so? Now or later?
But with this amazing, easily adoptable method, I also have a few points of objection or contentions. These points certainly do not discredit the method, but perhaps further evaluate their value in different contexts or instances while also illustrating the unbounded complexity of human emotions.
Is it Always That Simple To Just Employ These Few Steps?
Let’s face it, countless emotions and experiences do not ever simply go away. Loss, trauma, worry, exhaustion, and countless other realities are much more enduring than one or a few times of darkness. I myself sometimes re-experience trauma and guilt from my own worst experiences and transgressions occurring over fifteen years in the past. Other people closest to me also report hardship and pain from things happening so very long ago. And losing loved ones, traumatic events, or unimaginable occurrences have so many phases, stages, or extensive paths to healing over decades and lifetimes. Questioning whether or not you are wanting to free yourself from these types of experiences and feelings now is ultimately going to prove ineffective and deceiving. The feelings and realities can come back in even stronger forms.
The thing about these dark, overwhelming, ugly, or even bitter emotions is that we first have to accept and acknowledge them. Too often, societies tend to frown upon certain emotional or mental states as horrible. But in the right context, even the darkest of feelings are entirely natural. Given all of the unimaginably horrible things that can and do happen, is it not understandable that some days people may just want to stay in bed or may even never want to go on with living again? Yes, we want to certainly watch out for mental health conditions and work to treat them. But we should never feel shame for any dark feelings or experiences, especially mental illness.
Once we accept our dark thoughts and feelings, we need to find an appropriate context to experience and channel them. This can be tougher than just giving ourselves permission to experience our emotions — because we also need to give ourselves the time and space to adequately do so. And this cannot be done in a negative way that brings negative results to others. One such emotion that is tough to deal with effectively is anger. Honking hysterically at passer-bys in traffic or yelling obscenities to innocent representatives on the phone may seem like effective releases of anger in the moment. But they will only make us feel bad and even spread negative energy and harm to others. On the other hand, screaming into a pillow or taking out all of our anger out on a punching bag can be more healthy and channel our energy through a healthy medium. What is also difficult is learning how to express emotions effectively. Though the sky is the limit for healthy methods to do so, we usually fine-tune our own personal methods through experience and trial and error. Now, these points hardly take away from the usefulness of the Sedona method. But it does show that there may be a more extensive number of steps or other practices that must be employed in addition.
How Do You Free Yourself From Negative Experiences and Emotions, Then?
Let me repeat that I am not trying to dismantle the Sedona method. Instead, I am just trying to point out that countless experiences, thoughts, and emotions are not so easily surmountable. And that is entirely okay. One of the main things the 2020’s have reminded us so far is how little we know about anything, and how little we can control anything. While this can be a wonderful thing in itself as it recaptures the infinite mystery and wonder of reality, this can also have negative alternate effects as we cannot predict the storms tomorrow may bring. This includes what negative emotions may come lurking again tomorrow or what negative experiences life may bring in the coming months and years. Perhaps, then, we can focus on freeing ourselves from the negative emotions in the now.
“Live in day tight compartments,” was one of the main adages prescribed by Dale Carnegie. Yesterday is already in the past and in so many ways unchangeable(until they come up with some sort of time machine). Tomorrow has not come and contains countless unknowns. So, focus on today. So, to tweak the Sedona method some, we can focus on trying to experience our emotions in the proper context for today. Then, we can determine if we are able and willing to free ourselves from those negative thoughts and emotions just for today, and then choose to live fully in the now. If we have found a way to work through those negative realities just for one day, then we can better savor the infinite riches unfolding each second. This doesn’t rule out the possibility that tomorrow or next week won’t bring a nastier form of the same dark forces back. But those days will bring new opportunities to overcome obstacles once again — perhaps with us being stronger and wiser because we have been so successful today.
Another thing to keep in mind is that we don’t have to tackle the whole of a negative emotion or experience all at once. Yes, it is amazing when our anti-virus software can scan and remove all suspicious files from our computer. But for probably most things in life, the process of removing toxins and negative energy requires the old-school pulling of weeds on your hands and knees or tough application of the garden hoe.
Maybe instead of trying to work through a negative emotion or series of thoughts all at once, you can just focus the time, energy, and space necessary to tackle then free yourself from a small part of it today. Then, if you have tackled just a little bit(or a lot) then you can put the rest aside in some compartment for a later day and allowing yourself to get back to savoring the infinite riches in each second. This does not necessarily mean you are forcing the majority of the issue under the rug or somehow suppressing it. Rather, if you approach just a small part of the problem and work through it then this sets a foundation for further approaching the next parts in the near future.
Remember, sometimes we may be so down and devastated that even a little inch may seem like a long mile. In these times, it is perfectly okay to keep in mind the first three steps of so many 12-step self-help and recovery programs:
Admitting powerlessness over the issue
Believing that a higher power — manifesting in innumerable forms — can help
Deciding to turn the problem or issue over to the higher power
When we are at rock bottom, accepting our limits and vulnerability allows us to start afresh. Then, by humbly trusting what is greater than ourselves(whatever part we come to find in our deeper self) to work things out for the best allows us to then open back up to the world of worlds beyond our current situation. Isn’t this just a wonderful way to start employing the Sedona method then, perhaps? By humbling ourselves and re-centering, we are then in a better place to appreciate the small part of things we do have control and power over. Then, we can start to experience even just a small part of our negative emotions and experiences and begin the process to free ourselves from even just a small part of them.
A Final Tweaked Version of the Method
Ah, so there are a few of my points of contention. Now, remember I am not a psychologist, therapist, or even a self-help guru but just a lay person who just wanted to make these few points. Having done so, I have an even greater appreciation for the Sedona method as presented by Alberto Garcia and others. But my final version of the method is tweaked and modified a little further. Here goes:
1.) Identify what is this particular issue, problem, or feeling. 2.) Ok to experience even just a little of this for today(you can always work through more later)?
3.) Able to free self from just a little for today(and put the rest aside for another time)?
4.) Willing to do so from just a little for today(and put the rest aside for another time)?
5.) When will you do so? Just a little for today?
