Pulled From the Fictional News Archives
What Would Have Come From the Presses In Numerous Film Fictional Worlds?
So recently, I was scouring through the news archives for stories from famous fictional film worlds(typically found in the imagination). I was so thrilled to discover (er…compose) the following articles. Let’s take some time to revisit those fictional worlds and see what sorts of things have happened since those major events played on the big screen.
From the Fargo Daily Herald, April 1988 (fictional world of Fargo)
Lundegaard Found Guilty of All Charges Except Evading Officer
The horrid fifteen-month ordeal involving a Minneapolis, Minnesota car sales manager’s plot to have his wife kidnapped to defraud his father-in-law of $1 million finally came to a close on Monday. 45-year-old Minneapolis resident Jerry Lundegaard was found guilty on all counts except one yesterday. These charges included federal conspiracy to commit kidnapping, four counts of conspiracy to commit murder, and racketeering. He was found not guilty of evading a police officer. The defense had argued this charge should be thrown out on its own merits because Brainerd city police chief Marge Gunderson had not established the interview was an official police inquiry and Lundegaard’s fleeing to North Dakota was unrelated to the interview itself.
Lundegaard will face sentencing next month. Until then, he remains imprisoned at the North Dakota Federal Penitentiary in Fargo, North Dakota. After the federal charges, the Hennipen County District Attorney’s office in Saint Paul affirmed they “were as ready as a blizzard” to move forward with Lundegaard’s state trial later this year. Under Minnesota state law, Lundegaard faces additional charges of embezzlement, conspiracy to commit murder, mishandling of a corpse, evading a police officer, and 25 counts of felony fraud.
On a brighter note, from the Brainerd Bugle, April 1987 (also the fictional world of Fargo)
Police Chief Marge Gunderson Gives Birth To Baby Boy
Well, what a wonderful surprise, don’t you know! Brainerd’s oh-so-amazing Police Chief Marge Gunderson gave birth to a baby boy on Friday, April 10, 1987. PC Marge and her happy husband Norm named the little yipper Norm Bradley Jr. And betcha the Jr. ain’t so little. Marge said the cute lovely boy was a whopping 9 lbs and 11 oz. Now that’s one of the largest whopping Juniors you will certainly see!
And don’t ‘cha anybody worry too much about PC Marge. She’s such a wonderful lady. Just look how she pulled the wagon on that horrible crime that took place right here’s in our happy little Brainerd. With her super husband Big Norm staying at home with the baby and painting away, our lovely Marge will be back in the office in no time. Please send gifts to the police station as don’t ‘cha know Big Norm and Margie will need all the rest they can get!
From U.S. News, May 1996 (fictional world of Titanic film)
Research Expedition Involving Famous Treasure Hunter Halted
Famous researcher and treasure hunter Brock Lovett halted a three-year research expedition Tuesday, citing disputes among crew members and investors. Lovett and his team’s mission garnered international attention as they made multiple voyages to Titanic’s resting place at the bottom of the Atlantic. The team’s objective remained top secret though Lovett previously claimed the mission’s goals would be “historical when reached.”
In a surprise twist, Brock reported he was leaving the open sea to start a historical investigation into the lives of residents of Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin residents living in at the turn of the 20th century. Asked if he was still interested in the lost treasures of the Titanic, Lovett replied that he was diving for the first time into the “Titanic’s most important treasures of all — the people whose lives were lost(and sometimes found) on that fateful voyage.”
From New England Reporter, May 1913 (also from the fictional world of film Titanic)
Titanic Survivor Weds Wealthy Eccentric
Earlier this month, Titanic survivor Ruth Dewitt Bukater married an older member of the wealthy Hockley family, Miles Hockley. Brother to steel tycoon Nathan Hockley, Miles has amassed his own fortune through investment in clothing fabrication machines. Nathan’s son Cal was engaged to Ruth’s only daughter Rose. Last year, Ruth and Cal lost Rose on that unimaginable April night of the Titanic’s sinking. The reason why Rose could not find a lifeboat with her mother is unknown. Some witnesses allege hearing her say goodbye to her mother before running away from the lifeboats altogether.
But Ruth Dewitt Bukater seemed to retreat from her wall of overwhelming grief for just a little bit as she took the hand of eccentric social recluse Miles in marriage. She wore an appealing yet modest white dress with a veil to cover most of her dark red hair. Miles made a rare public appearance (he reportedly only leaves his Pittsburgh mansion a couple of times per year to conduct business abroad) and appeared more sympathetic to the average spectator’s eye than usual. He waited at the altar with a small semblance of a grin and nodded as Ruth stood beside him and quietly followed the minister’s guidance in vows. The event was hardly the season's spectacle with just a few guests. Among them were Miles’ brother Nathan and son Cal, who also was standing with a rather mentionable new fiancee who shall remain nameless for the time being out of this publication’s fear of reproach from the family. One guest mentioned overhearing Cal whisper to his father “Now that nightmare is behind me and dear old Ruth is Uncle’s problem going forward.” It is rumored that Ruth holds a mountain of debt from her previous marriage, but that should hardly leave a mark in the Hockley’s pocketbook. Miles and Ruth plan to tour England and France this coming summer season.
From Shrimping Monthly, September 1985, (taken from the fictional world of Forrest Gump)
Lt. Dan Buys Out Forrest Gump’s Share of Bubba Gump Shrimp Corporation
This month, the shrimping world has spun its head at the news of famous shrimping company founder Forrest Grump selling his shares of Bubba Gump Shrimp to his business partner and company president Lt. Dan. Gump has been retired from the shrimping business for several years. He spends his time fishing, playing ping pong, working as a gardener, and raising his son Forrest Jr. Gump started the shrimping company based on the promise he made to his best friend Bubba who passed away in Vietnam. Gump looks forward to continuing to raise his son and keep busy in Greenbow, Alabama. When asked what he plans to do with the large multi-million dollar sum of funds, Gump says he followed Lt. Dan’s advice and bought more shares of the Apple fruit company.
