Please Don’t Feel Too Bad Revisited,
And Rediscovering Deeper Connections As Well As Making Positive Impacts
I was shopping in a few stores today with my wife, and we noticed a couple of things.
- Many store associates did not even greet customers when passing — they just kept pacing by without even looking around. (This is different from the old grocery store chain I was employed by for many years where employees were required to greet every customer).
- Some fellow shoppers darted by us as though in a super-hurry, almost ready to plow anyone over in their way. Trying to break the hurried mood, I tried to say “hello” to someone who almost ran into me from the opposite way and offer a friendly nod. They just glared at me.
This is human nature. Sometimes, most of us may be the ones who are thoughtless and even rude to strangers or even to family, friends and confidantes. Other times, we are shocked by the aloofness or rudeness of others, even those closest to us who even show us anger or disdain. I myself am like so many who are extra thin-skinned and start to feel down when others are not very reciprocal if I am upwardly kind or positive.
Coincidentally, I came across my own piece from several months ago reminding readers not to feel too bad about one type of negative behavior — being “ghosted.” Is it not crazy that so often our own advice or insights offered to others are things we so easily forget ourselves? Of course, many of our own most closely held beliefs or values are principles that have revealed themselves in a unique way to our vantage point(as well as others from their distinct frame of reference). Also, we spend our lives continuously making sense of these deeper principles and truths in new ways. The deeper insights I offered were reiterations of principles reflected upon by the amazing book The Courage To Be Disliked:
“You belong to the community of earth and to the community of the universe.”
In other words, we are all connected to one another through the dances of the larger Earth and whole Cosmos. We should not take it to heart if people are aloof, rude, downright cruel, or even contemptuous towards us. How can we even begin to imagine what others might be experiencing themselves or what factors impact any negative perception or disposition they have towards us? How might we break through layers of ice to poke even just a small part of our fingers into the warm waters continuing to move underneath? I guess I could go back to my previous piece again(this time my own words, not as eloquent as the previously referenced book):
Each of us is seamlessly connected to everyone and everything else. Each of our thoughts, prayers, energy, and actions send ripples out to the greater whole, and others’ back to us. Try to imagine at any second how many people’s positive thoughts, prayers, and actions are directly or indirectly impacting you from any corner of the world. Or, try and comprehend every time you offer thoughts and prayers of love to your fellow humans or creatures in the greater world or if you perform even the smallest acts of goodwill or charity — how much do these acts correlate out to others and multiply numerous times over? Yes, these are incomprehensible miracles!
Today, as shoppers and employees passed us by, my wife and I soon joined the groups amassing at the checkout lanes. I noticed a kid quite young at the cash register, barely able to give customers eye contact and speaking in a somewhat diminished voice. As we went got closer in line, I dared myself to try to break the ice with this kid. I noticed he had a couple of those plastic wrist bands. Soon, we were checking out and I asked him about the bands. They were for mental health awareness, he stated, and mentioned a few classmates who had struggled with mental health issues.
“That is so hard, I know, and you’re just in high school? I am so sorry that anyone has to face such unthinkable things at such an age. It is good you are supporting the cause as there are always resources and people who can help.”
I can’t put into words how bright that kid beamed as we picked up our bags and left, saying goodbye with a wide smile. That is a whole other level of connection we all can be making everyday!
