Let’s Shake Up Those New Year’s Resolutions
As the wonderful year of 2023 draws to a close and the doors to 2024 are now starting to open, the age-old tradition of New Year’s Resolutions is taking a front seat in many of our lives again.
New Year’s Resolutions are indeed splendid and effective for many reasons. Otherwise, would we have kept the tradition going for so long? (We could have adopted other customs, like say “Old Year’s Unfinished Wallowings”). Also, guides for the tradition circulate all over social media and cyberspace. But the ever-present reminders and celebrations of the whole matter can lead to outcomes opposite of New Year’s ideal effects. To avoid the cookie-cutter, cliched versions of New Year’s Resolutions that we so often forget as soon as mid-January rolls around, this year why not try to give the practice a whole different spin? Let’s explore some possible original strategies from which to tackle maybe even just one or a few of those New Year’s goals on our list this year.
Doing More of What We Are Already Doing
Ah, we still hear so often the classic adage, “If it isn’t broken, why fix it?” Well, another take on this is certainly, “Why not keep doing something that is already working well?”
And perhaps some of our resolutions can be to do even more of a good thing!
Will we be more inclined to stick with something we have already started or start a whole new goal altogether? Does it seem less daunting to do something like say add extra fruit to a smoothie we’ve already been making each morning than to start a whole new keto plan? Is it not less of a headache to add 20 extra minutes to our regular morning walk than to force ourselves to visit the company gym after a long day‘s work?
Especially if we have already made great progress towards a certain goal in the current year, somehow the notion of starting with a “clean slate” just seems so. .well. .I’m drawing a blank. Since each person’s journey to grow and improve is ever a work in progress(like life itself), is it not more natural to keep running certain races we have already started? Certainly, the sky is the limit for new things we can always be attempting at any moment. But there is also magic that comes from sticking with what we’ve already started. Plus, shouldn’t we celebrate our wins and take stock of victories as we also look to what comes next?
Small Steps and Inches
“I’m going to lose 50 pounds this year!”
“I’m going to save $10,000 for a new car!”
“I’m going to get that promotion!”
“I’m going to reconcile with those I hurt so long ago!”
Ah, doesn’t life seem grand in the tides of Auld Aung Sang? But then those months of January start steamrolling in and we find ourselves back to business as usual. Those grand goals become lost in the clouds or pushed back to “tomorrow” and soon to “yet another year down the road.”
But those wondrous goals are not negative in themselves. Life is just more multilateral than we ever realize. Our bodies may not be able to shed pounds as quickly as we’d like. Money trickles down from the top but is siphoned up from the bottom. Promotions may go to the understudy and pain from yesteryear’s offenses may linger for generations. Perhaps in light of life’s unbounded complexities, we just need to break big goals down into smaller steps before completion.
As the maxim goes, “inch by inch is a cinch, yard by yard is too hard.”By breaking down many of our goals into smaller steps, maybe we can indeed make great progress toward the larger end goal. Saving $5,000 is an amazing start(and the next year we might be able to double that to get an even nicer car). Why not become a grand master in your current role before rocketing yourself up the ladder too quickly? And if reaching out to reconcile brings more harm than good, then perhaps a daily ritual of offering prayers and good thoughts for those hurt will help bring lasting healing for all. If we take one step at a time on that thousand-mile journey, how many more lessons and riches can we mine than if we go too quickly and get tired?
Start to Practice Not Giving a“Blankety Blank”
Ah, the irony. As the bells ring in cheers of new beginnings I receive this email link to online writer Tim Denning’s new article When you Reach the Age of Not Giving a [Insert Colorful Word Here]. Is this perhaps a novel strategy for New Year’s goals? How is that even possible— to grow and improve ourselves by actually daring not to give a darn about certain things?
See, one thing with this wisdom offered by Denning and many others(hey there are bestselling books about it) is that it prescribes more care rather than less. By not wasting precious time or energy on matters that we cannot control or do not hold as much priority, we can devote ourselves more fully to things that hold more value. It’s the serenity prayer in full motion, we show the most care and make more progress by letting many things alone.
How many of our New Year’s Resolutions might still be caught in the same old unproductive or even negative loops? “I’m going to get that recognition award this year!” Why do you need a medal? Isn’t the satisfaction of realizing you’ve made a lasting difference reward enough? Besides, maybe the other person deserved it more. “I’m going to gain favorability with more people and improve others’ perception of me.” Oh, I didn’t realize you were running for Congress. “I’m going to make amends with estranged family or friends.” Is the hundredth time pleading into a recorded voicemail any different than the 99th? “I’m going to find a way to make recompense for those horrible past transgressions.” Don’t you realize that interest cannot accumulate on debts already paid?
The subtle art of not giving a “blankety blank” does not mean you find those things you cannot control without value.
It means you give them up to the Divine and trust that they will be worked out for the best in the Cosmos’ sacred dance. You can’t control or even understand the layout of the deck of cards(humans will never even grasp the vast majority of possible arrangements of a single deck of cards). All you can do is play best the hand you are dealt.
If you learn to accept that the vast majority of things are beyond your control or domain of direct understanding, are you not able to focus more on growing and improving in ways within your power? Despite what famous movies will tell you, there is no way to dig a tunnel through tons of slate with a small pick-axe(especially if life covers that slate with metal plates). Maybe this New Year’s the only goals you can reach are putting down the pick-axe and finding peace of mind so that next year maybe you can tackle those smaller stones your pick-axe can actually handle.
What About Nothing?
So you want to run a marathon? Do you want to put aside several thousand extra dollars this year to save up for a down payment on a house? Do you strive to break a certain habit like smoking or drinking diet soda? Whatever our New Year’s Resolutions, they certainly fill pages and take up itemized lists. But what if one or a few of our 2024 goals actually involved a radically different end goal — doing a little bit of nothing at all?
Religious and spiritual traditions, as well as mental health organizations and human sciences, have been extolling the sacred practice of doing nothing for eons. This does not mean the passive and often wasteful act of sitting in your office cubicle and messing with your fidget spinner, all the time avoiding that project report your boss is expecting. This is the difficult craft of quieting our minds and opening our deeper selves up to the numinous and ineffable dimensions of existence itself. If we work to constantly recenter ourselves through actions like deep breathing, prayer, and meditation, we may find that slow activities seeking self-emptying actually can be the most fulfilling. Or if we seek to connect with the transcendent and sacred at the heart of things through regular practices like listening to spiritual music or reading poetry, we will find that the active pursuit of reconnecting even more to the infinite and bottomless center of things will help us find the greatest levels of wholeness.
A Small Dash Of Self Is Not Selfish
“I’m going to spend more time with my family.”
“I will strive to join those Church councils I’ve been avoiding.”
“It’s time I joined that walk-a-thon.”
Certainly, the sky is the limit for ways we can improve our relationships with others and also strive to make the world a better place. But what about goals for self-care and self-love?
Those self-improvement goals are hardly selfish. Losing weight, increasing personal fitness, and improving one’s diet are examples of self-goals where the opposite habit is considered selfish. When one works on these self-improvement goals it puts them in a path to also better help others.
But what about goals where you are putting time aside for self-care, rebalance, and advancement? What if one of your New Year’s goals is to take a personal day every month or two just for selfie time? What if you desire to take up a whole new hobby or past-time, like water polo or geocaching? Well, these goals need not be perceived as selfish. Don’t countless plants and creatures stock themselves up in the winter months for hibernation so that they can flourish during the year’s other seasons? How can one help others or the greater world if they haven’t been able to find health and rebalance themselves? So do not be afraid to add one or a few personal resolutions in addition to resolutions to help others and the world.
Additionally, when you do make those goals and resolutions that are all about helping other people and the greater world, do not be afraid to keep your personal goals, skills, and interests in mind. Let’s say someone feels like serving more in the community and sees ads for volunteers needed at their local food pantry or animal shelter. These don’t pique their interest. Yet then they hear of a children’s center looking for adults to help tutor students. They are a devoted writer and pledge to bring their passion and skill to the role of helping young students develop their writing craft. Certainly, their ambition and zest are extra influential in their role as a volunteer tutor in a way that may not be if they were doing something they did not enjoy nearly half as much.
So, we have explored just a few strategies that we might use to change things up for 2024’s list of New Year’s Resolutions. We could add numerous other strategies here. One secret is that like any goals or quests we accept as we trek life’s winding roads, we just remember that the journey itself never ends.
