It Just Takes a Little Care
One definition of care offered by Merriam-Webster is :
regard coming from desire or esteem.
It is striking to me how precisely this definition fits with what a client commiserated with me the other day while I was helping him with complicated matters at my inbound phone account manager job.
“We live in a NOCA world. It’s a sad day when no one cares anymore.”
To care in this sense means to have the will and personal investment to offer full regard to someone or something. This regard manifests in its best form when it becomes a deliberate, dynamic action(that may or may not be noticed by others). And it is genuine. You don’t simply stop to help someone in need when it looks good for you or when you are trying to schmooze the person. You help them because you see they are in need and you have enough desire or esteem to do something about it.
I don’t think the client meant that people have become cold-hearted and careless(or that humans are simply apathetic or uncharitable by nature). Quite the contrary, people are genuinely caring and loving and the world is abounding with goodness and care. It is even the case that people can care too much. Humans can stress too much about things that seem directly within one’s control but are not — like one’s reputation or how the future will unfold.
And is it not ironic that some of the worst instances of full-fledged carelessness are the byproduct of caring too much? It doesn't seem very considerate if an employee walks off a job without notice. How could you do something like that to your coworkers and company? However, what if the employee is at the end of their rope after trying to support everyone else or having to deal with a toxic workplace? It may seem cruel if a person does not take time to connect regularly with friends or family members. However, what if that person has cared too much but has constantly been hurt by negative behaviors or toxic dynamics?
An additional point is that the very reality of the Cosmos’ unbounded complexity and grandeur greatly impacts matters related to human compassion. It’s not that we deliberately are careless. Most things are beyond our direct control and understanding. We can't see most people around us who may be in need. If we turn to help the stranger on our left, we may miss the chance to help the stranger to our right. If we give our last dollar to our friend, we have none left to give our sibling or stranger.
So how can you care without getting overwhelmed? How do you make sure to offer care where it may be desperately needed?
One essential way to do this is through taking the initiative. Every day, countless opportunities lie right before us to offer care to people (and other beings). We can take notice of coworkers or friends who may seem troubled and offer a kind word or listening ear. We can volunteer at our local community center, spiritual organization, or shelter and find your charity and care are always needed and immeasurably valuable.
An additional strategy is to remember what it is like when someone offers you care. You can tell what kind of mode you are in by how quickly it takes you to recall a loving and warmhearted act someone offered you. If you can quickly recall the recent time someone held the door open for you or asked you if you needed help, you are open to the positive energy all around you in the world.
I was actually outside of a casino one evening several years back, pacing haphazardly after I’d lost more money than I could afford. Some random passerby took the time to stop and ask, “Sir, are you okay.” What a profound impact that had. I still remember the time I was in ninth grade, sitting and bawling in language arts class. A classmate grabbed a Kleenex and handed it to me. When you remember these small acts of care and kindness bestowed on you, how much more inspired might you be to act?
Countless other factors or strategies can help us foster a more caring disposition. But overall, just think about how wondrous it is when the act of showing full regard for another just because you want to becomes a lifestyle. How wondrous indeed.
Oh, we do live in both a NOCA(no one cares anymore) world and an ODC(others do care) world. Both are constantly at play, the positive ODC counterbalances the negative NOCA. What side manifests depends greatly upon us and how much we choose to care.
