Ho’oponopono — Let Me Try
“Doing Hooponopono.” — #65 on Garcia’s list of 100 ways to finding greater levels of happiness in an hour.
It’s been a hard year so far, especially the past few months.
The month of April started with a disgruntling car accident(thank heavens my wife and I were not seriously injured, though the same could not be said for my car). Then I acquired Covid over the Easter holiday. These events were minor hardships compared to the loss of two dear loved ones —my mother-in-law and my great aunt — both tragically to the same unimaginably horrific form of cancer. May allowed a brief sojourn into a semi-normal state to help me catch my breath, or at least remember to breath after kicking to stay afloat through a thick cloud of sickness, stress, and grief. Then at the end of June, my wife’s and my pet puggle passed away at almost 12 years of age. I’m not saying this is the same as losing a loved human family member or dear friend, but it is still heartbreaking nonetheless.
Through good times or distressing times, I have been able to keep going. Though at times it seems I am just kicking to stay afloat. At the same time, there have been countless moments where riches, signs, and hidden miracles helped lift me higher. One of those moments was discovering what Ho’oponopono was. In a simplified sense, it is an ancient Hawaiian prayer and practice that goes something like this:
I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.
Wow! So simple, yet immeasurably profound and helpful. And just like countless other prayers, mantras, rituals, or passages from countless wisdom traditions, the sky is the limit for applying the words and practice of Ho’oponopono.
For Things We Have Done or Failed To Do
In some instances, is all about the personal application. Take those transgressions or mistakes that you are feeling guilty about(the things you have control or responsibility over) and just repeat this mantra a few times. I am sorry. . .Doesn’t it just help to feel and express contrition? Please forgive me. . . How wonderful to send your plea out there to yourself, to others, to the greater Cosmos, or to what is Divine at the heart of things. Then, the next two steps are offering the gratitude and love back in the same directions as well.. Thank you. I love you. . . These past two parts put you in a positive mindset. Gratitude and love are worlds away from regret, guilt, and despair over things you may have done or failed to do days, weeks, months, years, or even decades ago. If only our disputes and irreconcilable differences with others could be approached with a dialogue like this. But at least we can offer this prayer and mantra at a heart and spiritual level to channel positive energy in ourselves and send out positive energy to others and what is beyond us.
For Things Beyond Our Control or Understanding
What about if you are feeling sad, guilty, or even devastated about things that were not within your fault or control? With our beloved puggle passing away, for instance, she just got so sick very quickly and kept getting worse. I had tried everything to get her better — medicines, holding her, and letting her rest. And when I finally could get her to the vet there was nothing they could do. Of course, I said “I’m so very sorry.” I kicked myself left and right even though I realized deep down I had done the best I could. Look how wonderful the prayer works for things that we feel so many negative feelings about that are really beyond our control. We can rephrase the mantra some to help us get past the guilt, shame, or pain that is truly unnecessary when we have done nothing but act as best we could acted in regard to what we felt was right and necessary.
I am so distraught and heartbroken that this is what the harsh, bitter reality is. Please heal, strengthen, and forgive all as needed. Please help heal my fears and distress over what was not my fault nor within my control. Thank you. I love you.
One beautiful realization emerging from the mantra is the sudden realization of forgiveness. So often, we tend to think of forgiveness as something that has to be fought for and earned(if it is to be received at all). People who commit certain transgressions may forever break others’ trust and positive impression, with a slim chance of ever having the same name and reputation again. Once hardened criminals who have become fully transformed and rehabilitated so often return to a very judgmental, harsh society bound to never let them forget their past mistakes. But this mantra calls us back to the truth offered by so many of the wisdom traditions. Forgiveness and mercy have already been offered at the deeper, spiritual, and cosmic levels. We just have to be willing to embrace it and let it work miracles in our lives. In many Eastern cultures and religious traditions, it is realized how Divine forgiveness and mercy are already operating at the collective and universal level, with forgiveness benefiting more people beyond just the forgiver and forgiven. And remember the key message of infinite mercy and forgiveness at the heart of the Christian tradition, just as the words echo in 1 Peter 4:8 : “because love covers over a multitude of sins.” And so the prayer of Ho’oponopono goes thank you, I love you.
This might be a good stopping point for this Medium publication. I have found another great rung on the ladder to help lift me higher, and I am amazed and humbled at the new insights. But before I finish here I feel compelled to explore one last final application of this amazing prayer and mantra.
For This World With Even Its Ugly Parts
On a daily basis, much of our negative energy comes not from ourselves or even those close to us. Much of our most heartfelt anger, pain, sorrow, sadness, and lingering despair comes from witnessing and experiencing the brokenness and horrific realities occurring in the world around us. We scroll our smartphones and read about the most recent disaster unfolding in our governments. We flip on the television or radio and hear the latest about the relentless Covid pandemic, continued wars in different parts of the globe, and the continuous reports of the most unimaginable terrors committed against our fellow humans and other life on Earth.
We feel the pain and sadness because we are all interconnected and united( as innumerable great voices have echoed). And sometimes it can be so easy to forget, but even though most things in the world are not happening to us on an individual level(and of course each of us experiences things in a unique way), on another level this larger unity touches and moves us even if we don’t realize. It is immeasurably helpful to send our prayers and positive energy to the larger whole while also remembering that in the larger whole just as many good things are happening as bad(with good forces triumphing). One such prayer and positive action is again the Ho’oponopono.
Joseph Campbell, the great scholar of comparative mythology and religion, beautifully paraphrased Arthur Schopenhauer in his famous interview with Bill Moyers, The Power of Myth:
“‘Just as those people whom you met by chance became effective agents in the structuring of your life, so you have been an agent in the structuring of other lives, and the whole thing gears together like one big symphony,’ he says, ‘everything influencing and structuring everything else.’”
Imagine if our universe is one big symphony, with each instrument playing and each note streaming to a larger flow of infinite harmony, beauty, and grace. Imagine how in any band, symphony, or choir when sometimes a few instruments can play a little out of tune or fall out of tempo. It may start when a drummer’s stick accidentally drops and leads to the whole band losing rhythm, or the bass singer’s voice cracking for no apparent reason to lead the whole chorus line to sing off key. It was some random, unknown tremor that somehow led to everything being slightly off-kilter. The same can happen on cosmic scales to some small degree. Sometimes some parts or parcels of the larger universe’s symphony can fall out of balance in very tragic and egregious ways, spurred by random tremors that can have a large ripple effect.
As players in the larger universe, each of us can experience this piecemeal imbalance in ways both subtle and profound. The parent who must rush their sick child to the doctor cuts off a grocery store clerk on their way to work in traffic. The grocery store clerk is less patient and friendly with some of their customers, who then go to their jobs or homes a little less kind and positive. Soon the small sliver of negative energy has rippled out to the whole pond. So many ripples rub each of us slightly off balance for seconds, minutes, days, or even years at a time. It certainly may not be our whole selves or whole lives, but consume enough of us to leave lingering pain. Many of our relationships can be strained or broken to the point we may not even remember who we really are to one another. Individually and collectively, many of our greatest hopes, goals, and dreams can end up completely broken. When considering the negative and tragic, a rephrasing of the prayer can be a stanza of some parts of the larger symphony.
We are sad, broken, and sorry. Please forgive and healing. Thank you. We love you.
The prayer reminds us that the universe’s larger symphony is constantly rebalancing and healing those parts of itself that may fall somewhat out of sync. Imagine the prickly, harsh thorns protect the ever-resplendent rose or the insects, snakes, and other creatures that must break from their old, crusted shells to reinvigorate their whole beings. Similarly, the larger Cosmos will renew and transform its most broken of parts and subsume its most negative energy with the most positive, graced, and good forces.
So, as I end this brief exploration of such a wonderful and immeasurably beautiful prayer(with most parts and applications of it unconsidered), If we find ourselves profoundly distressed, despaired, or broken in any ways individual or collective, might we find the Ho’oponopono prayer to refrain so beautifully with the numinous words of Julian of Norwich.
We are sorry, broken, and despaired. Please heal and forgive. Thank you. We love you.
All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.
