A Second Letter To My Fellow Auto-Operators
A Mea Culpa From Another Driver Who Makes Mistakes
Operating a motor vehicle is tough, super tough. If it was simple, well, it would be simple. We wouldn’t require both hands, at least one foot, and a whole variety of gears, knobs, and pedals to get us anywhere.
On my own journey to become a safer driver, I have found myself to take on a strange sort of attitude when driving. It is not full-blown road rage, mind you. But I’m much more judgmental and reactive to other drivers on the road. If someone seems like they are not going to come to a full stop at a red light or stop sign, I am prone to honk to get their attention from oncoming traffic. I scoff at drivers who pass me when I’m going the speed limit, and start to yell when I am cut off in traffic.
Road rage is a common problem in the U.S., as well as around the world. Psychologists find that road rage is surprisingly related to temperament and mental disposition. People who are inclined to aggressive thinking(for whatever reason)are more likely to fume behind the wheel, and they are more likely to engage in harmful driving practices themselves.
I myself may be a more emotionally reactive driver. I have been inclined to start driving around aimlessly under mental or emotional stress. I have let emotional and spiritual disarray get in the way of safe driving to the point I’ve received enough moving violations to get me into a driver’s improvement course. There, they taught us seasoned drivers not to let our emotions or reactions cloud our judgment and safe driving efforts. From that course I am now going on 18 months of safer driving with no violations. If road rage, emotionally reactive driving, or other types of destructive driving practices are highly correlated with negative thinking and acting then safer driving begins with an attitude adjustment and mental and spiritual recalibration. (Strange, this is just like so many other things in life). Here are some things I am learning to become a safer driver myself(but am still far from mastering).
Driving is not a right like the right to vote or the right to express yourself and share your viewpoints in public. It is a social and legal contract you have with your government and greater community — not just the law enforcement officers who may catch you breaking the rules but also your fellow government residents who are driving, riding, or walking on the streets and walkways you drive on.
This is a hard one because people think they should have a right to drive a vehicle. People also often give a negative stigma to those who don’t drive for some reason, like it’s somehow an essential to adulthood. But remember for the majority of human history people got by just fine without driving vehicles. They rode horses, steered horse-drawn carriages, or walked.
Practice empathy and utmost regard for others when driving. Other drivers, riders, are pedestrians are not geese or ants, but human beings just like yourself.
This should go without saying, but it’s really not so easy to remember. If you are about to make an obscene gesture or toot your horn in retaliation to another driver’s uncouth behavior, remember that crushing feeling when similar actions were done to you.
The horn should only be used when necessary. Trying to take out your frustration on another driver or a pedestrian through horn blasting is not a necessary use of the horn.
I have trouble with this one, because as I mentioned I tend to honk at drivers I fear are going to run right through a stop sign and hit my car passing in oncoming traffic(as happened just a little over a year ago). Related to this, one thing I particularly cannot stand is when people are honking from behind you when you are waiting a stop sign or to turn right on a red light. Talk about a backseat driver!
Just like so many other things, try to counter negative driving corollaries with positive ones. Counter negative thoughts or reactions towards other drivers with positive ones. Counter natural shock and anger at distressing situations and horrifying experiences with calm, resilience, and gratitude for safety and health.
One practice I’ve implemented is just to say a quick prayer of gratitude for other drivers, passengers, and myself after a close call. This is much more calming and healing than scoffing or yelling about the negative experience.
Also, you can counter negative experiences or situations with positive ones to some extent. Recently, my wife and I traveled on a short vacation to a neighboring state. The whole way there, I shook my head as most cars passed me on the interstate when I was going 65 mph in a 70mph zone. On the way home, we took the backroad highways and got to see the beautiful scenery of the countryside. Talk about a change of focus!
Unless you do have a high-risk profession like a jet pilot or a neurosurgeon, operating a multi-ton vehicle is probably one of the riskiest things you do on a daily basis. So, please show full carefulness and discretion when behind the wheel.
This is not so straightforward either. As human societies have been swamped with motor vehicles for generations now(and with horses and horse-drawn mechanisms centuries before that), it is easy to forget how powerful and potentially dangerous motor vehicles are. Statistics for negative driving habits like distracted driving alone are alarming. And then considering negative reactive driving, impaired driving, or full-throttle road rage, it makes more sense why there are so many horrifying and devastating traffic incidents every year. What if each of us were just a little bit safer, proactive, alert, and reverent when behind the wheel? How many horrendous events might be prevented?
And so, my fellow auto operators, I once again reach out to you to offer my sincerest thoughts and prayers for your safety when out there on the road. I write from a place of camraderie and understanding. We are all humans and can make the worst of mistakes in every part of our lives, driving is no different. And so many unpredictable events or variables on the road beyond our control have potentially negative impacts. Just the other day I slammed my brakes to avoid those deer that are not so majestic when crossing the highway. I was so grateful to the other drivers who also were driving safely behind me, maintaining a reasonable following distance and paying full attention to stop after I abruptly had to stop.
